The term "Family-Friendly" is thrown out a lot in the hospitality industry, because let’s face it, it is catchy and people want that in the hotel they choose.  It really should be called: Single Parent approved! Family Friendly should mean that a parent can actually have a vacation too!
I do believe that family-friendly is probably more widely used for kids older than 5+ because they are closer to adult interests and don’t have specific needs.  However for the bucket of families traveling to hotels/resorts with kids under the age of 5, there needs to be a new term.  Baby, Young Tot Friendly (BYTot Friendly) haha I’m making that up, clearly!
Recently, I’ve been googling a lot, family friendly hotels in Europe, the Cotswolds, Vermont, etc!  Wherever we are going, I want it to be easy and I’ll even pay for certain amenities if offered by a hotel if it’s an option.
Here are some things that I think or look for when I go to a hotel, even if they claim to be family-friendly:

1. Do they offer a car pick up service with car seats to their hotel/resort? This one is usually no, but HOTELs this is a no brainer, low cost and super helpful for families with young kids!
2. Onsite or close by, small convenience store/items in case of an emergency – wipes, diapers, medicines (OTC), pouches, bandaids, etc.
3. Do they provide cots/cribs, bed rails (not as common),high chairs in the dining room??  It’s so easy for them and goes a long way.
4. Dining options: What is the earliest time to sit for dinner as a family?  Do they actually think of young kids schedules (bedtime is around 7/7:30)?  Do they offer a kids menu?
5. Childcare options: Babysitting onsite (for money) or a creche/daycare onsite or the newest thing I’ve seen is baby listening services.
6. Kids Room: All Hotels who welcome children should have a Kid’s Room, contain them in one area with some activities or a game room or maze, whatever just make it colorful and have options!!
• An Idea: Have 3 or 4 Ipads, attached, with passwords that offer kids age appropriate games, so that kids can play games that way.
7. Do they have kid events?
8. If there is a pool, is there a kids pool?  Do they offer floaties or is that something I have to bring? Do they offer pool toys?
9. Ask them what else makes them family friendly after going through this list.

Also question all those lists out there that say "Top 10 family friendly hotels in…." because who knows what their criteria is, and usually they air on the side of minimal requirements.
I don’t understand why hotels/resorts do more of this for families because ultimately the better the time the kids have the parents have a better time.  To me it is a no brainer!