Having friends that are moms is so key when you have kids, I would argue it is the most important part of being a mom in those early years!
I’ve had two experiences: with my first I lived in a town right outside of Boston and didn’t have all the mommy classes or support groups to help realize that everything I was thinking and feeling was normal. I felt alone. I suffered from a lot of Postpartum Anxiety after #1. It is important for every new mom not to feel alone and for moms to not be scared of leaning on other moms, find a mommy group or look up a facebook group of moms with babies similar ages!!
Things I did after Baby #1 include: Throw out the D word to my husband probably 5 times in the first year (probably not an awesome thing to do), I wouldn’t leave my house for the first 8 weeks cause I had to drive everywhere and I was so scared.
• I did this all without a mom tribe to talk to and vent… and if I talked to anyone and they told me I was crazy, it made me pull away more!
• I had an old colleague from when I worked for Coach in NYC and I texted with her and she just texted about what she was going through and that was amazing, because I felt less crazy and just knowing someone else was going through it helped.
No one tells you/I’M TELLING YOU: It’s amazing to have a baby but really really hard in the beginning for the mom and no one except other moms will understand! Your hormones are literally working against you and then the baby while cute will give you a run for your money on sleep!
So find your mom squad or rely on old friends via messaging to talk to. After baby #2 completely different experience and extremely helpful. Here is how:
• Support group, run by a lactation consultant, where all moms had babies under 1 year and we went in a circle and just either asked questions about what went on that week or where we are struggling and need support. What you got from the other moms was either a “yes, that was me this week too.” or “I tried this and it helped” or moms just cried.. They get it and no one will tell you you are wrong! Also we brought our babies!
• I was a part of a facebook group of a hundred moms in the area I lived in, not to hang out but just ask questions at all hours of the night.
• Texted with an old colleague from when I was in Investment Banking, his wife had a baby the same week as me and I leaned on her so much those first 3 months.

THEN I MOVED TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY… insert being scared that I was going to be alone in many ways!!
I lucked out, my one friend happened to be a mom of 1 and introduced me first to a babysitting app that I love, bubble (only in UK)! Literally makes me feel like I’m never alone and I can get help if I need it.
The best decision I’ve made since moving to London was choosing to live in a kid friendly place and move into a gated community… when we did this there were kids that lived in here and it’s gated so they can run around and we still need to be slightly careful with cars but we had instant friends and through these mums I’ve been able to build my mom squad here. But I’ve leaned a lot on my mom friends at home in the US cause we might be moms but everything is different here!
Conclusion: Regardless of where you are in the world if you see a new mom that is struggling, help her out by offering to talk (only talk about you, but acknowledge it is hard!!) and then also connect her to other new moms or a group you know!
• Basically be nice and don’t be quick to judge.. I simple hi or “you got this” can help!