We are teaching our kids to say please and thank you but I find sometimes in a marriage the first thing that goes out the window is the thank you!!
I’m going to start with a Try it.
TRY IT: I think any partner should walk into the door, if the other partner is already home and immediately say, “Thank you!! What can I do to help?” Regardless of what that person does during the day, you are in this thing called parenting together, all hands on deck until the kid(s) are asleep. If you have more work, great, do it when they are sleeping or stay at work and finish it, then go home!
Reality Check: It shouldn’t matter who has what job or who brings in more money, when you get home and kids are still awake, you are both equally responsible for those children being there. Whether you both decided to get pregnant, it happened by accident or decided to adopt or whatever your road to kids were, your in this together. So walk in and just say “Thank you! What can I do to help?” and SMILE!
In general it’s so simple!! Just notice the little or big things that your partner does for you or your kids and just say thank you! A little recognition after doing laundry or doing the kids bedtime routine alone during the witching hour when my 3 year old loves to scream would ease the tension when my husband comes in.
BUT vice versa, I’m sure from my husbands perspective, I could say thank you to him for going to work in an office all day or praise him for doing little things around the house. Even though I don’t think he needs to hear it, I want to lead by example so hopefully it will become second nature to him!
**This is also a cultural difference I’ve had to make him aware of, apparently in Spain (this could be a generalization), it isn’t the norm to grow up saying please and thank you all the time, like it is in other cultures like in the US for instance or the UK for that matter. So I had to communicate to him that I want that and that our kids will be brought up this way. It could be worth it: to talk to your partner if you don’t know how they were brought up on things around showing appreciation so that you can be a united front for your kids!
TRY IT: One mom friend gave me great advice, both of our husbands are similar in that they feed off of words of praise! Just praise them for doing a household/or child task even if he isn’t intentionally doing it, but it would help you a lot if he did. Then maybe he will continue to do that one thing if he knows that I’m going to thank him or give him a hug! No offense to most husbands but sometimes I think of the rat exercise in science where you train them to do something if you make a sound.. Think of this like that and get him to do whatever you need him to do, even if you think he should do it anyway!
Also lets try to say thank you more to each other and not take the other one for granted! I’m preaching to myself here!
